Parenting Plans and Being Generous with Holidays
Being divorced with children can have a lot of calendar issues, because there is only one birthday for each child, and yet there are two parents. Christmas only comes once a year no matter what Elmo wanted, and so does Halloween. How these get divvied up can cause hurt feelings or maybe it can be done with a deft hand and make you look like a great guy (or girl).
The easiest holiday to mark is that of Mothers Day and Fathers Day because Hallmark has already done that for you, but the rest get a lot harder. Yet if you take a look at the large picture and realize that your children are going to remember what they did with you on that birthday or Christmas or Spring break, but not whether it was actually on that Calendar Day, then maybe you can make things a lot easier.
A lot of the time the specific days of Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, Halloween, 4th of July, and Birthdays, are allocated even years to one parent and odd years to the other parent. But sometimes one parent’s family celebrates on Christmas Eve, and think about it, if neither you nor your spouse has a family that has that tradition why not start it. That way your child or children, can be with both families on the special day, just on each side of midnight. And birthdays can be celebrated on the exact day or on the weekends before and after the big day, maybe with a big sleepover with their friends, or some other fun time that they would like. The same goes with Halloween, as in Halloween parties are often on the weekends surrounding the specific day and can be as much fun for the adults setting up as for the children participating.
In winter, there are ski/ice skating/sledding trips, and in summer, swim parties.
On the bad weather holidays, there can be movie nights with pizza and popcorn for friends. Adventurous parents can even think about putting a tent up in their backyards.
So, there are a lot of fun ways to celebrate all the special days which do not fizzle if the celebration is not on the exact day.
The important plus side of this is that you look like the really nice ex, so if at some point you have an occasion that you really would like your child to attend with you and it is the other parent’s day, your chances of having your request granted should improve.
So, why not take the high road. You don’t have to do it on every holiday, but pick one that you know your ex would really like to have the child(ren) on and give it to them. It is like having a savings account of being generous their way.
Disclaimer: This blog is intended as general information and not as legal advice. Situations are different and may call for different remedies. To deal with a specific situation and make appropriate arrangements for representation and advice, call Kevin J. Waite or another attorney of your choice.
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