Successful Parenting When Parents Live In Separate States
Being divorced with minor children in school and having your spouse now living in another state can seem like a ticket to a parenting disaster but with the help of modern technology, affordable transit, and some work, it can be done.
For the big holidays, and summer vacation time, getting a copy of the school calendar is a good beginning. Undoubtedly in the parenting plan of your divorce decree the school holidays and summer holiday were in some way split up. Knowing your time with the child ahead of time can enable you to purchase cheaper plane tickets to where you live, or if car pick up is possible, give you advance notice to arrange time off of work to pick up the child. Road trips can be a fun bonding time and educational (especially if the child is allowed to participate in the planning of the route, see what gasoline costs, and where to eat.)
Planning can get dicey if there are things like camps (football camps, music camps church camps, etc), or doctor appointments, dentist appointments (as in braces) scheduled during this time but largely these obstacles can be worked around. Usually both parents have paid into these so they are known obstacles. Having fun things planned where you live – for you and the child can help make it something that they are looking forward to and so might forego some summer camps with friends that they see on a frequent basis.
For the day in – day out communication, FaceTime or its competitors can be great, because the parent and child can look at each other and so get a visual sense as well as a verbal sense of how the other is responding to the conversation. It can also work for the two parents to communicate as well as to their needs from the other parent.
Email is another technological source that can be used to be informed of homework assignments that you could possibly help with, or finding out from teachers, what books your child needs to read over breaks and you possibly could get them and read them with your child. It does not only need to be used for finding out where your child needs help but can also be used to find out from their teacher where your child is doing great and you could possibly find some special activity to celebrate that.
Just because you are out of state does not mean that you need to be in the dark. You can be a fun parent that is totally involved in your child’s life.
Disclaimer: This blog is intended as general information and not as legal advice. Situations are different and may call for different remedies. To deal with a specific situation and make appropriate arrangements for representation and advice, call Kevin J. Waite or another attorney of your choice.
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